The Luxury of Being Expected
Updated: Sep 14
FROM MY TABLE™
Why the places we return to rarely have anything to do with the menu.
"A series of reflections on wine, culture, hospitality, creativity and the art of gathering"
There are places I remember.
Not because the food was extraordinary.
Not because the wine list was the longest I had ever seen.
And certainly not because they were the most beautiful rooms I had ever walked into.
I remember them because, the moment I stepped through the door, someone smiled before I spoke.
"Welcome back."
For a brief second, I hesitated.
Not because they recognised me.
But because they remembered.
There is a difference.
Recognition acknowledges your presence.
Remembrance acknowledges your story.
I've spent much of my life travelling.
Across countries.
Across cultures.
Across tables.
Some grand enough for state dinners.
Others no larger than a kitchen table shared between strangers.
Time has quietly taught me something I never expected.
The places we return to are rarely the most luxurious.
They are simply the places where someone made us feel that our return mattered.
Luxury has long been measured by what surrounds us.
Crystal.
Silver.
Perfectly folded linen.
An exceptional bottle waiting patiently beneath the correct temperature.
All beautiful things.
All worthy of appreciation.
But I have come to believe that true luxury begins much earlier than any of them.
It begins the moment someone remembers.
Perhaps it is the chair you always choose.
Perhaps they remember that you linger over conversation long after dessert has disappeared.
Perhaps they recall the vintage you loved the last time you visited.
Or simply that you prefer arriving quietly before everyone else.
The details themselves are almost insignificant.
Yet together they whisper something profoundly human.
"I see you."
That, to me, has always been the true language of hospitality.
Not performance.
Presence.
Hospitality expert Will Guidara argues in Unreasonable Hospitality that unforgettable experiences are rarely created through extravagance, but through thoughtful gestures that make people feel uniquely seen. It is a philosophy that quietly shifts hospitality from performance to relationship—and one that resonates deeply with me.
The finest hosts rarely try to impress.
They pay attention.
And attention is becoming one of the rarest luxuries of our time.
I often think about the evenings that have stayed with me over the years.
Curiously, I remember very little of what was served.
The menu fades.
The flowers are forgotten.
Even the wine eventually escapes me.
Yet I remember the laughter.
The pauses.
The conversations that wandered effortlessly between strangers before quietly returning as friends.
I remember leaving lighter than I arrived.
Perhaps this is why wine has always fascinated me.
Not because it fills a glass.
Because it creates permission.
Permission to slow down.
Permission to listen.
Permission to remain at the table long after there is no practical reason to stay.
In many ways, it reflects what Joe Keohane explores in The Power of Strangers: that some of our most meaningful experiences often begin with conversations we never expected to have. Sometimes the greatest gift a table offers is not the meal itself, but the stranger who quietly becomes part of your story.
The bottle is rarely the memory.
The people always are.
As a Cultural Architect, I spend much of my life designing experiences.
Some happen through fashion.
Some through music.
Some through wine.
Yet they all begin with the same question.
How do we create moments that people continue carrying long after they have left the room?
Again and again, the answer surprises me with its simplicity.
People remember how they felt.
Far more than what they consumed.
It is a truth echoed throughout Dan Buettner's research into the world's Blue Zones, where the longest and healthiest lives are shaped not only by movement or nutrition, but by belonging—shared meals, enduring friendships and communities that make people feel connected.
Perhaps that is why the places we love eventually stop feeling like destinations.
They become part of our story.
Places where someone remembers your name.
Your smile.
Your silence.
Your favourite corner by the window.
Places where, before a single word is spoken...
you already belong.
Perhaps welcome itself is one of the most overlooked acts of generosity. Alain de Botton and The School of Life have often explored how our deepest longing is not to be admired, but to feel understood. Perhaps that is what true hospitality has always offered—a quiet reassurance that, for a little while, we belong.
Perhaps...
that is the greatest luxury of all.
Not being recognised.
Not being admired.
Not even being welcomed.
Simply arriving...
and realising...
you were expected.
From My Table Notes
📍 Written from: Nairobi, Kenya
🍷 In My Glass: Domaine William Fèvre Chablis — Chablis, Burgundy, France
🎵 Soundtrack: Come Away With Me — Norah Jones
👗 Dress Code: White. Quiet confidence. No introduction required.
🕯 On the Table: Warm bread. Flickering candlelight. A handwritten place card. A smile that arrived before the first greeting.
🌙 Mood: Belonging.
💭 Reflection: True luxury begins the moment someone remembers you before you have to introduce yourself.
Sip with Wisdom. Live with Wonder.
—
Written by
A quiet reading of this journal, narrated by Liz Ogumbo.
Inspired By:
• Unreasonable Hospitality — Will Guidara A fresh perspective on how extraordinary hospitality is created through thoughtful, deeply personal gestures rather than perfection.https://www.unreasonablehospitality.com/
• The Power of Strangers — Joe Keohane Exploring why unexpected conversations and human connection often begin with strangers.https://www.joekeohane.net/the-power-of-strangers
• Blue Zones — Dan Buettner Research into the world's longest-living communities, where belonging, shared meals and meaningful relationships are central to wellbeing.https://www.bluezones.com/
• The School of Life Essays and ideas on belonging, emotional intelligence, hospitality and the art of living well.https://www.theschooloflife.com/
• The Michelin Guide – Service & Hospitality A thoughtful perspective on the role of service, atmosphere and hospitality in creating memorable dining experiences.https://guide.michelin.com/
Stay a Little Longer...
🍷 Discover Wine Wisdom & Wonders™An invitation to explore wine through story, culture and sensory experience.
🌍 Explore Vine to Soul™ through Liz Ogumbo Wines™ Where wine, travel, culture and meaningful experiences meet.
🎵 Listen to KenSoul™The soundtrack to the stories, tables and journeys shared here.
👗 Discover Liz Ogumbo Fashion™ & DeniMania™ - Fashion as storytelling, circular innovation and cultural expression.
📸 Browse The From My Table Archive: A growing collection of reflections on wine, hospitality, music, fashion and the art of gathering.
"The places we return to are rarely the most luxurious. They are simply the places where someone remembers." — Liz Ogumbo
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